Compromise, Compromise

What's worse than a mad Bridezilla? It's two mad and tired Bridezillas!

Only recently I went to my bestfriend/partner in crime, Ade's house. I drove through the hectic traffic with plastic bags on every sides of my motorcycle. I planned to take Ade to go to Griya Kado which is located at Jalan Samanhudi 12 Mangkuyudan Solo (review later), and these plastic bags contains seserahan stuff I've been collecting since last month. It's been a while since I visited her house and met her mother. We talked for a while, and then I started to hear arguement over the phone between Ade, her mother, and her father on the line. Deng deng... (insert heart-wrenching sinetron music background here).

Wedding, is an event of a lifetime. Girls are prone to having certain ideas of the perfect wedding even as early as they were five years old (this is true). Some have this ideas of a ruffy frilly wedding gown with one hundred meter long tail (actually it's this certain girl who watched in awe on her black and white TV, the Lady Diana's royal wedding --> aka, me), others have this ideas about her perfect princess like themed wedding just like the one Cinderella had after she won her half glass shoes back, and who knows what else.

When finally facing the actual wedding preparation, only little they knew that it's like stumbled upon Dorothy's whirlwind. So many little details that must be taken care of, so many stresses, so many idealisms that must be put aside, to put in other word: compromise at its best. Back to Ade's problem, she has changed her wedding date three times. And it's about to be changed again, because her father insisted to invite this famous Ustadz to give tausiyah in her wedding day. Said ustadz has this busy schedule, and so they have to move a day earlier than original date. For her father, inviting this certain famous ustadz is the ideal. For Ade, this is stupid, since there are lots and lots other capable ustadz who are not as busy as her father's choice. But since I know that in her family, the ultimate figure with every veto right is his dad, then she has no say in this. I can tell how miserable and upset she was from her look. It's understandable. Imagine all the vendors that needs to be re-contacted.

Copyright: Wedding Crowd

As for me, things are no different. I struggle a lot not to raise my voice toward my parents, because even if they are impossible at times, they are parents, and parents are... well... parents. My dad's eccentricity, my mother's short temper, my sister's indifference, all adds to color this wedding preparation of mine. From the decision of wedding date, the choosing of venue, reception concept, all went through some kind of arguements. So far score two for my dad for deciding the wedding date and his beskap lurik for siraman, score two for me, deciding the reception concept and venue, score ten for mom to somehow finding flaws in every option (lol, good for self-check). But in the end, it shows our values and cooperation as one family.

Of course I am sad that my Yts is so far away. No one will drive me to shop for seserahan, check for venue, do food tasting, see the tailor, print the invitation, etc (it's usually the other way around, I drive my mom everywhere). But of course he gives me quite moral boost everyday. And always helpful and fast in handing this details or others I require from him (Sayang, if you read this, please send me photos soon, kiss ^_^). And in top of that, I don't think I can handle another requirements as detail and demanding as those who has their in laws + family live near. Other brides are usually able to cope, since they hand all the work to parents. But no such case in my family.

Chinese parents are known to avoid having daughter in laws who were born in the Tiger year. Maybe it has some truth to it. As I often joke with my fellow Tigress friend, we are no good daughter in law materials, since we are often rebellious, perfectionist and idealist. So it's particularly hard for me to see one by one, my wedding dream shattered to pieces just so I can cope with the grand scheme.

How wonderful it would be if everything could always be as clear and simple as it used to be when you were twelve years old, or twenty years old. If there really were only two colors in the world: black and white. But in the end, it doesn't really matter, I guess, as long as this will bring us beautiful result.

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. ~ Maya Angelou