On Academic Pomposity

You know what, I give up. Regular posting and deadline are really not my thing. And to those who wonder, yes, I am happily married now. It was a traditional Javanese wedding, exactly like how I dreamed it, since I was 7. I remember looking with awe at my mom and dad's wedding pictures, with that black velvet clothes embroidered with golden laces. It's not so in anymore, as more and more brides and grooms prefer to have the more modern looks. But ever since I was a little girl, I knew that one day I will have it in elegant and old-fashioned way.

But this post is not about that. Not yet. I am dedicating this long-awaited post (yea right :p) for Mas Shidiq. He works as a physiotherapist at Physiotherapy Centre YPAC Jalan Slamet Riyadi Surakarta. It's started two weeks before the D-Day. I remember having an arguement that morning with my mother and pulling up my full-loaded back pack roughly. You know how in Islam we are taught to love and respect parents, especially mother. I think it's an immediate warning which I got from raising up my voice to my mom (at least that's what she happily told me, lol); I hurt my right neck muscle and shoulder from pulling up the heavy back pack. It hurts a lot, I didn't feel it at first because I was in a tight schedule that morning.

Later that day I started to feel the nightmare. Neck pain is really one of the worst kind of muscle pain. It hurts your shoulder, your arm right to the fingers (yes you can feel it to the tips), and the head. Sometimes the back also feels the muscle spasms. It hurts a lot when you turn your head, when you nod or shake one's head. It hurts when you carry something, when you don't carry anything, when you stand, when you sit, when you lie down. Thinking about the pain only already gives me goosebumps... No one should ever feel this kind of pain, really. I could barely sleeping that night.

After two days of pure misery, one friend referred me to YPAC Physiotherapy Centre. Before this, I didn't even know that there's this field of expertise. I mean if we have dislocated muscles, or anything similar, common Javanese folks go this way :

Javanese Traditional Massage. Sumber ilustrasi :http://www.tembi.org/dulu/pijat/

So any problem with muscles, I often associate cures with old neighbour lady (every region usually has this elderly ladies who will come to your house when you ask) performing traditional massage. Most are coming from lower class in the society. So I was surprised when Mas Shidiq told me that he had a diploma in physical therapy. You actually have to go to university to earn money by giving people a massage?

How ignorant, I know... He explained the many of expertise in the field of physical therapy. And while listening to his explanation, he's working on my treatment. That was my first experience, so I did not really know what to expect. First he rayed the hurting area with warm lights like ilustrated below. Afterwards, he put on some device which sent tingling sensation on my skin. He told me that the steps aimed to help loosen up tensed muscles. And after all done, he made me lie down on my tummy and did wonder. He literally knew where it hurts the most and I felt almost masochistic satisfaction with all massaged muscles. When he finished, he taught me some exercise moves that I can do at home. Very very handy.

Sumber Ilustrasi : RSU Bunda Margonda

Later on, when I think about the experience, it's like a self-reflection. I often kept this superior feelings inside when comparing myself to other people, assessing the degree and education, judging people from their academic proximities. Before this experience, maybe if I meet Mas Shidiq in a different affair, when he told me that he works as a physiotherapist, I would have this voice at the back of my mind: "Ah, physical work. A masseur. Nothing intelectual.". Call me Erasmus Montanus, I, and probably many of my ex-colleagues at university often engaged in conversation, in such level, where practicality has become idleness, assessed one another by how long the addition they have on their name. I feel ashamed that I have to be put in such painful experience, and Mas Shidiq to mention that he actually have a degree to remind me that practicality, and simplicity are at times have more meaning than shallow idolatry.

What Mas Shidiq does for living is probably viewed less shopisticated compared to academic professions. But if we ask the question of whether his profession is less beneficial, ask people who have neck pain, or parents who have kids with autism and down syndromme, or people who have movement disability. I know I am not comparing apple to apple here. But while the profession of a masseur, tukang pijat, or physical therapist are not so academical or smart, it touches people's life more than I had counted on.

And the best thing is, the neck pain dissipated and gone completely after two days. Horray! And if you are wondering, the price is less then 100,000 rupiah. Woohoo! :D

Oh, while we're at the topic, I think I am going to write about pre-wedding treatment and post it next week. Thinking of eye-catching title: "Spa, Yay or Nay?". Very very important question for bride soon to be. ^_^ Believe me I have been there, and it's real challenge to put schedule for spa in the middle of those... mess. Okay, maybe not next week... (it isn't like anybody reading this ramble, lol).

And there you go, My Big Fat Greek Wedding is played on TV. Think it's gonna be a looooong night... I feel for Toula, lol.

Compromise, Compromise

What's worse than a mad Bridezilla? It's two mad and tired Bridezillas!

Only recently I went to my bestfriend/partner in crime, Ade's house. I drove through the hectic traffic with plastic bags on every sides of my motorcycle. I planned to take Ade to go to Griya Kado which is located at Jalan Samanhudi 12 Mangkuyudan Solo (review later), and these plastic bags contains seserahan stuff I've been collecting since last month. It's been a while since I visited her house and met her mother. We talked for a while, and then I started to hear arguement over the phone between Ade, her mother, and her father on the line. Deng deng... (insert heart-wrenching sinetron music background here).

Wedding, is an event of a lifetime. Girls are prone to having certain ideas of the perfect wedding even as early as they were five years old (this is true). Some have this ideas of a ruffy frilly wedding gown with one hundred meter long tail (actually it's this certain girl who watched in awe on her black and white TV, the Lady Diana's royal wedding --> aka, me), others have this ideas about her perfect princess like themed wedding just like the one Cinderella had after she won her half glass shoes back, and who knows what else.

When finally facing the actual wedding preparation, only little they knew that it's like stumbled upon Dorothy's whirlwind. So many little details that must be taken care of, so many stresses, so many idealisms that must be put aside, to put in other word: compromise at its best. Back to Ade's problem, she has changed her wedding date three times. And it's about to be changed again, because her father insisted to invite this famous Ustadz to give tausiyah in her wedding day. Said ustadz has this busy schedule, and so they have to move a day earlier than original date. For her father, inviting this certain famous ustadz is the ideal. For Ade, this is stupid, since there are lots and lots other capable ustadz who are not as busy as her father's choice. But since I know that in her family, the ultimate figure with every veto right is his dad, then she has no say in this. I can tell how miserable and upset she was from her look. It's understandable. Imagine all the vendors that needs to be re-contacted.

Copyright: Wedding Crowd

As for me, things are no different. I struggle a lot not to raise my voice toward my parents, because even if they are impossible at times, they are parents, and parents are... well... parents. My dad's eccentricity, my mother's short temper, my sister's indifference, all adds to color this wedding preparation of mine. From the decision of wedding date, the choosing of venue, reception concept, all went through some kind of arguements. So far score two for my dad for deciding the wedding date and his beskap lurik for siraman, score two for me, deciding the reception concept and venue, score ten for mom to somehow finding flaws in every option (lol, good for self-check). But in the end, it shows our values and cooperation as one family.

Of course I am sad that my Yts is so far away. No one will drive me to shop for seserahan, check for venue, do food tasting, see the tailor, print the invitation, etc (it's usually the other way around, I drive my mom everywhere). But of course he gives me quite moral boost everyday. And always helpful and fast in handing this details or others I require from him (Sayang, if you read this, please send me photos soon, kiss ^_^). And in top of that, I don't think I can handle another requirements as detail and demanding as those who has their in laws + family live near. Other brides are usually able to cope, since they hand all the work to parents. But no such case in my family.

Chinese parents are known to avoid having daughter in laws who were born in the Tiger year. Maybe it has some truth to it. As I often joke with my fellow Tigress friend, we are no good daughter in law materials, since we are often rebellious, perfectionist and idealist. So it's particularly hard for me to see one by one, my wedding dream shattered to pieces just so I can cope with the grand scheme.

How wonderful it would be if everything could always be as clear and simple as it used to be when you were twelve years old, or twenty years old. If there really were only two colors in the world: black and white. But in the end, it doesn't really matter, I guess, as long as this will bring us beautiful result.

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. ~ Maya Angelou